I wanted to believe in a different story
A consistent theme I’ve heard from some friends and clients over the last few weeks were along the lines of this:
Life is so hard. Why why why why whyyyyy does it have to be sooooo hard?
This has been a constant throughout most of my life, too. Up until just a few years ago I thought that life was meant to be a continuous struggle because that's what was modeled for me in my nuclear family.
Life sucks and then you die. The End.
I've even realized that I often make things harder on myself because of my tendencies to want everything to look and be perfect, which keeps me playing small and not being of service to the best of my ability.
For the longest time, most days I felt like that dung beetle pushing the ball of poop 250x my weight up a really, really tall mountain.
And while we’re on the topic of dung beetles, did you know that some of them literally live IN the shit? I’m sure many of us can also relate to that, too. (Metaphorically, of course.) Add that to the list of things I never knew and wish I could delete from my memory. Thanks, Wikipedia!
Ok, now where was I… oh right, the patriarchy bullshit!
As a society, we’ve been conditioned to believe (and continue to teach future generations) that the only way to get to where you want to go is to work your ass off and suffer your way through it.
To fight tooth and nail.
To grin and bear it.
That #hustletilyoudrop mentality.
I know some people resonate with go-getters like Gary Vee and I am so on board with working hard for what I want, but, like most things in life, I’m looking to strike a little bit more of a balance.
I want the hard work to feel good, too.
Because otherwise, what’s it all for?
Recently I’ve started to challenge this concept of “no pain, no gain” because I’ve seen people live differently and still cultivate great success and fulfillment. In fact, many of them are thriving. And I’ve decided that if they can do it that it’s accessible to all of us, myself included.
I’ve been exploring the concept of gaining momentum in my business and life while in the flow instead of feeling frazzled.
Of moving forward with the current instead of paddling furiously against it.
In this era of the “man’s world,” our cultural conditioning has us believing that if we don’t work hard and hustle til we literally can’t keep our eyes open any longer that we won’t ever make progress towards our goals. Or, maybe even more depressing, that our dreams will never come true.
But I’d like to challenge this. Together.
Women are generally not wired this way. We have cycles and our energy waxes and wanes with each new moon phase and season.
We need rest, and care taking, and lovemaking, and to feel nurtured while nurturing those we love.
What would happen if we gave ourselves permission to try something different?
Why can’t we first seek out what makes us feel good, like moving our bodies or playing with our babies, before diving headfirst into housework?
Why do we emphasize how busy we are, or exaggerate how bad things are in the moment - like it's some sort of competition to win?
I’ve spoken a little bit about how I chose the word DELIGHT as an overarching theme for this year, and part of the reason I wanted this to be my anchor was as a little experiment.
I want to know…
What would happen if we saw play as important as (if not more so than) getting shit done?
What if we softened to let in more love, and trust that our needs will be met without fighting so damn hard?
What if we trusted ourselves more - our minds, our bodies, and our spiritual guidance - to follow what's pulling on our heart strings?
What if we prioritized what fills us with joy, even if it doesn’t work every day?
What if we set boundaries around our time and energy that feel good?
What if we communicate better and ask our partners and support networks for what we need so that we can actually pursue our purpose?
Then, as I was sitting on a plane last week on my way home from a business trip, I read this:
"I wanted to believe in a different story. One rooted in joy and love. One that allows delight to sit at the center. One that believes significant work emerges through significant play. One that is enamored by the mysteries of existence and the wonder and awe of this chance at life. This doesn't mean ignoring suffering and pain and struggle. Those are unavoidable parts of the human experience. What it means is that we don't have to seek it out." -Amber Rae, Choose Wonder Over Worry
I read it again and again, letting it sink all way in as tears started to form in my eyes.
THIS is the story I want to believe in.
This is exactly why I want to anchor myself in feelings and experiences that delight me as often as possible. I want to retrain my brain and nervous system that I am safe, and loved, and worthy of making even my craziest dreams come true. Or, to just enjoy the journey in pursuing them even if they don’t turn out exactly as I envisioned.
It all starts with seeing this as a possibility. Believing is seeing.
So, what do YOU believe?
If you’re ready to explore how you can incorporate more ease, flow, and everyday enjoyment in your life, I’d love to invite you to join me and the next group of badass women in Simple Soul Speak. We start on February 10th and I'm so looking forward to circling together to move mountains.
When we share the weight of our pain, our pleasure, our stories, and those dung balls (sorry, I couldn’t resist!) with one another, the work becomes a lot less intimidating and, dare I say, delightful.