Unexpected apology from an ex


A few weeks ago I sat down on a Sunday afternoon to journal. I had the house to myself and finally felt compelled to put pen to paper after months of resisting it, so I went with the flow.

I was writing in response to some prompts from my coach around love, romance, and relationships - both current and past - and setting the intention to heal and release any harbored feelings of heartbreak so that I could step more fully into greater love (of myself, my friends, my husband, etc.).

I got to a section where the questions focused on healing heartbreak and diving deeply into old wounds so they could be excavated, brought to the light, and released. I don’t often go back and relive every single past relationship since they’re fairly old news, but was curious what would come up; I had faith there were bits and pieces I hadn’t fully made peace with yet.

I found myself writing about my very first high school boyfriend (who I’m actually on friendly terms with now) and our breakup was definitely a difficult one - especially since he was my first Big Love.

I specifically remember one morning in high school when we were standing at our lockers chatting before classes began. He was really down and depressed about things happening at home and I told him I loved him - and he never said it back; not that day or any day after. Ouch.

I continued letting out my sadness, grief, and frustrations around several other relationships onto the page and it felt super cathartic.

What happened next was unbelievable.

As I wrote the words “I am READY to release the pain to make room for an even deeper love” I received a Facebook message from that first boyfriend - let’s call him Dan. We don’t talk often (maybe 5x in 15 years?) so it was definitely unexpected and felt like more than a coincidence.

Dan let me know he’d seen and heard a few things that made him think of me over the few days prior, and that he was going with his gut and sending a message to make sure I was ok because it seemed unusual to him.

One of the reoccurring signs was that he’d heard a bunch of Lifehouse songs on the radio. Up to that point I had forgotten Lifehouse was our thing, and I even walked down the aisle to one of their songs. I guess I had already healed some stuff, lol.

I told him I was well and that he had impeccable timing because I was just writing about some old stuff around our relationship. It felt a little strange to be that upfront and honest with someone I rarely talk to, but I felt compelled to for some reason.

Then, out of the blue, Dan issued an apology to me. “I’m sorry I was such a jerk to you back then.” We chatted a little about how young we were and what horrible role models we had for healthy relationships, and it was a really nice conversation. While I never knew I needed or wanted an actual apology it finally felt like closure in the best way possible.

This is the way that energy and time works. It’s not linear and doesn’t always make sense, but is so magical when you’re open to experiencing it.

This unexpected apology was confirmation to me that none of what I believe is BS and that when I take time to address what pain I’m still holding in my mind, body, and heart that I’m capable of healing it. Getting an actual apology was just icing on the cake.

Have you ever had those moments where you were thinking about someone and they called or texted you?

Or maybe you were thinking about something you wanted and it came true in an instant (like reaaaally craving an iced caramel macchiato and your coworker just happened to show up with one for you)?

These are mini moments of manifestation, and I believe that they're never coincidences - they're the result of the energy that your thoughts and emotions put out into the Universe. Pay attention to them. ;)

Loving you,

Kendalyn BanksComment