Do you trust yourself to do this?
I spent last Saturday out on the boat with my husband, son, and in-laws and had the best time being on the water and soaking up the sun. If you’ve known me for any amount of time, you know that the ocean is my ultimate happy place and where I feel the most at peace and nourished. Any time I can smell the salt water (or really, the seaweed - haha!) and dip my toes into the wet sand I feel like I’m home. (You too? I knew we were meant to be friends!)
While we were on the boat I was able to really relish in enjoying my family with nowhere else to be and nothing else to do and felt fully present and alive. As we cruised around I got to thinking about how my husband and his dad are so great at driving the boat, not just because they’re naturals at it (though they kind of are irritatingly good at everything they do), but because they actually took time to learn from skilled instructors and practiced honing their skills. I trust them implicitly when it comes to boat safety as well as navigation, but I’d never trust myself in their shoes because I don’t have the knowledge or the desire to be in that driver’s seat.
As I began to let these thoughts bubble up in my mind, I started thinking about how this translates to everyday life. For a really long time, I felt totally out of sync and out of control when it came to steering my own ship - my life - because I had absolutely no faith or trust that I could get myself to where I wanted to go. How were my friends and peers figuring out how to be successful in life when I felt so lost? Was it all an illusion, or did they know something I didn’t?
I felt blind when it came to having a vision for my life, which made it really challenging to execute any next step because I couldn’t see where I was going. I felt like I was wandering around in the dark without a flashlight, doing things out of desperation because I felt so dissatisfied and disconnected.
When we feel unhappy we often seek the quickest fix we can find instead of taking a timeout to actually tune in to what we want, and I was guilty of that for so many years. I looked for everyone else to give me guidance and answers to what I should do with my life instead of pausing to check in with myself and my own inner GPS.
I trusted sources outside of myself more than my own thoughts, feelings, and desires. Or I simply tried to numb the pain of my unhappiness with things like over-exercising, watching too much tv, drinking a little too much wine, and keeping myself so busy I didn’t have time or space to find what I was looking for.
About 7 years ago this all changed when I started attending fitness classes and workshops at Mind Body Barre. I was in my mid-20s and, like so many women at this age, felt pretty lost in almost every area of my life. What was my purpose? What truly makes me happy on the deepest level, not just the surface level BS? I had no friggin’ clue. And then I was guided to join an 8 Weeks to Wellness program at that studio that started to get me back on track to finding my answers.
One of the recommended readings from that program was the book “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay (may she rest in the sweetest peace) and it 100% changed my life. It was the first book I ever read where I learned about the power of thought and intention, and the idea that your thoughts and the way you perceive the world create your reality.
It was also the first time I ever connected with someone else’s life story about making it through a lot of traumatic events and thriving despite them. It made me believe this was possible for me, too, and was the catalyst that allowed me to realize I could be whoever I wanted to be and do whatever I wanted to do.
That book was just the beginning, and since then I’ve been totally obsessed with personal development books (or “self-help” books as they’re more commonly known) and working on my inner self so that I actually feel fulfilled in this lifetime. I was so sick of doing what I needed to do just to get by; I wanted to feel happy all the way down into my bones. I was finally ready to start taking responsibility for my life instead of feeling like a victim of my circumstances.
The more time I spent daydreaming and creating a vision of what my life could look like, the more I was able to learn how to foster my connection with my intuition and gain forward momentum towards what I desired.
I started to tune out what everyone else told me I “should” do with my life since that had clearly gotten me in the pickle I was in and started taking baby steps towards what felt right in my own gut.
This wasn’t always easy because sometimes my inner voice was calling me to do things that seemed really big and scary to me, but having the positive proof that it wasn’t there to steer me wrong led me to put my faith in myself and do the big and scary things regardless of how afraid I felt or how crazy they seemed at the time.
Following these inklings of my intuition are what led me to first create an Etsy shop almost 4 years ago selling homemade bath and body products, which I never ever thought would turn into what my business is today. I kept trusting and allowing, trusting and allowing, following each small step I felt guided to take.
Lately, my intuition has been nudging me to start speaking about this process more and shine a light for others that I didn’t have back in the day. Most of us weren’t taught about intuition and following our gut feelings from our parents (or parental figures), and it can easily be the missing link that can help bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to go.
We live in a really noisy world now with disturbing world news and endless social media feeds to scroll, making it all too easy to check out of our own lives and into someone else’s. We can become distracted from what it is we’re here to do and how we can connect with and honor that each and every day.
Part of my big Purpose is to help busy women rediscover how fulfilling it is to let go of control a little and connect with that burning desire within; to turn off the outside noise and tune in to the subtle whispers of your intuition. To truly trust yourself first and foremost because when you do this you are powerful beyond your wildest dreams.
Sometimes I do this naturally during conversations with friends (it’s been an interesting recurring theme lately), and sometimes it’s through leading groups of women in my business. Either way, it’s deeply fulfilling to me when I see that lightbulb moment of connection and trust a woman has with her inner knowing because I know how life changing it is.
While I still don’t trust myself to drive a literal boat, I do deeply trust myself and my own inner wisdom to guide me along my life’s path because I feel educated and capable after years of self-study and self-mastery.
Will I ever stop doing my own inner work? No way. There’s still a lot of my past left to heal, and many life events up ahead that I haven’t yet experienced. But instead of seeing things as insurmountable challenges I now see them as opportunities for growth and expansion, and as long as I feel connected with my intuition, my Spirit Guides, and the Divine to help guide me along the way, I trust that it will all unfold as it should.
If you’re just getting started on this journey of self-discovery and connecting with your inner wisdom, I’m living proof that it’s so worth it. The simplest thing you can do when you’re feeling lost or stuck is to take time out of your day to get really quiet and start asking your highest self and your guides for answers to what you’re seeking. If nothing comes at first, just keep asking. Keep showing up for yourself and deeply listen in. I promise that with practice it will come.
So the big question is, do you trust yourself to create the life you want?
Do you trust in your inner guidance system enough to actually listen to it and follow what it encourages you to do to help get you there (regardless of how “crazy” it may sound)?
If not, what’s one action you could take today to start working your way towards self-trust?
In love + heart service,